To You I Belong: Tokka

To You I Belong

Sokka pulled at the collar of his formal water tribe robes.  The only thing he ever liked about these parties was the seemingly infinite supply of food.  Blubbered seal jerky, stewed sea prunes, steamed snow crab, roasted polar leopard, even braised hippocow – the feast was endless.

It was the fourth time he'd been to one of these anniversary parties, but he knew he'd never get used to them.  All anyone wanted to do was talk about the war, while all he wanted to do was forget it – especially that last awful, terrifying day...

"So, how have you been, Sokka?"

Sokka turned to Chief Arnook.  He was supposed to be having a conversation with the man, but as the evening wore on, he found he couldn't hold up his end of it.  "Oh, uh, I'm fine, Chief Arnook."

The chief noted his distractedness.  "This is the first time you've been back, isn't it?"

"Back?"

Chief Arnook nodded.  "First time back to the Northern Water Tribe since Yue...left."

Sokka hadn't thought about it too much, but it was true.  He'd avoided the Northern Tribe for nearly five years, and with good reason.  It was bad enough that he was reminded of the princess on an almost nightly basis.  Being back in the very place he'd lost her was almost more than he could bear.  He nodded to the chief.  "Yeah, it is."  There really wasn't much else he could say.

Thankfully, Arnook understood.  He clapped the younger man on the back.  "Enjoy the party," he said, and disappeared into the throng of people celebrating the end of the Hundred Year War.

Sokka tugged at the neck of his tunic again.  Suddenly, breathing seemed to be a luxury.  Before the walls of the palace could close in on him, he turned his back on the revelry and headed straight for the door and outside to the relative peace and calm of the night.

*****

Four years.  Four years since the end of the war.  It seemed like only yesterday, and at the same time a thousand years ago.  Sokka thought back on all the people he'd lost because of it: his mother had been killed by a Fire Nation Soldier; his father left to fight with the Southern Warriors; his first love sacrificed herself to save the world.  The anniversary always brought back the loss and emptiness.  Even his new-found family was gone.  Zuko had a nation to run, and Aang had his Avatar duties to attend to.  Add to that the fact that Katara was almost always with Aang, helping where she could, and his loneliness was nearly complete.

Sokka inhaled the crisp and cool arctic air and wished, not for the first time, that he was home in the Southern Water Tribe. He sighed as he walked along the outside of the palace, full moon glowing low in the sky.  The twang of guilt that came to him every time he saw the moon had dulled over the years.  Now, he felt content, as if Yue were watching over him, protecting him.

He laughed under his breath at the role reversal.  He was the one that was supposed to protect those he loved.  But with everyone split up and so far away, he couldn't even do that properly.  The only person he was around all the time was the one person in the entire world who didn't need the protection he so willingly gave.

Toph was so unlike Yue.  Never in his life had he known anyone less in need of protection.  Yet when he was around her, protecting her was all he could think of.  The image of her slipping from his grasp on the airship that last day of the war was permanently burned into his mind.  On that day, he vowed he would never let anything happen to her – ever.  Losing Toph was more than he was willing to bear.

He thrust his hand in his pocket and fingered the thin strip of ribbon hidden there.  He repeated the motion countless times that night.  He was waiting for the perfect time to give it to her.  He really didn't know when it would happen, but he knew he would know it when it did...

"Sokka?"

He looked over his shoulder to see Toph creeping across the snow, one hand on the outside wall of the palace, the other stretched out in front of her.  If the long, blue dress wasn't enough, the fact that she was wearing her hair in "loopies" made her look every inch the Water Tribe native.  

Sokka ran over to her as fast as he could without falling on the ice.  He skidded to a halt in front of her, arms flailing to maintain his balance.  "Toph!"  He grabbed her shoulders.  "Why are you out here by yourself?"

"You're out here by yourself."  He could have argued with her, but he knew he would have lost.  "I felt you leave a while ago.  You didn't come back, so I came looking for you."

Sokka sighed.  He took hold of Toph's arm and threaded it through his own.  They had taken half a dozen steps when he froze, a new thought striking him.  "Toph, please tell me you put shoes on."

She smirked at him.  "You must really think I'm dumb."  She lifted her dress to show him the thick seal-hide boots underneath.  "I'm not a fan of frostbite you know."

"Just checking," he muttered.  

They walked in silence.  Sokka led them along, pausing every few minutes to see that Toph was coping alright in the snow and ice.  He wandered without a destination in mind, just happy to be in Toph's company.  

He stopped waking when they reached the edge of the ice pack.  Sokka looked over the ocean, lost in his thoughts again.  

"Sokka!"  Toph's shout echoed in his ears.

"I'm standing right next to you Toph.  You don't have to yell."

Toph huffed in response.  "Apparently I do.   I said your name four times before you deemed yourself worthy to answer me."

"Oh."  

"'Oh?'  That's all you have to say?"

"Toph," he said, looking down at her, "you know how I get during these Anniversary celebrations."

Toph bowed her head.  "Sort of," she admitted.  "You get all quiet and you stay away from everyone.  You don't even want me around."

"It's never that," he told her.  He put his arm around her shoulder to hold her tight against him.  "I always want you around."  Once again, his left hand made its way into his pocket, this time finding the stone attached to the ribbon.  "It's just that everyone expects me to be happy about the end of the war, and I can't be."

She arched her eyebrows.  "You'd rather still be fighting?"

"No, it's not that."  He removed his hand from his pocket and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "I'm glad the war is over, I really am.  But all I can ever think about at these parties is what happened during the war.  I remember all the people who died: my mother, Yue, countless, nameless others.  I remember all the towns that don't exist anymore.  I remember that the Southern Water Tribe was almost wiped from the world.  I remember that last awful battle, when I almost lost you.

"But I'm Sokka, the Water Tribe Warrior.  Sokka, the Swordmaster.  Sokka the War Hero.  I'm supposed to be happy that it's all over.  I'm supposed to be celebrating with the rest of the world.  Instead, all I am is Plain, Ordinary Sokka – the guy who wishes the whole thing had never happened."

Sokka was sure he was going to get some kind of sarcastic comment, an insult, an order to quit whining; Toph simply remained silent.  Her blind eyes cast over the ocean for several minutes before looking up to his face.  "Why didn't you ever say anything to me before?" she whispered.

He shrugged.  "Never seemed like the right time.  Besides, we have to put in our appearance at these things. I accept that.  I'll put on my happy face for now and everything will be fine."  He started to walk back to the palace, but Toph was rooted to the slab of ice on which she was standing.  She pulled him back to her side with such force that Sokka was sure he wasn't going to stop in time to prevent himself from falling in the water.  

Toph caught him again, and wrapped her arms around his waist.  "You know, no one was happy about the war," she said.  "No one is celebrating the war itself.  We're celebrating the peace."  He nodded his agreement.  "Since you aren't talking, I'm going to assume that you're nodding."

Sokka laughed for the first time that night.  "Yes, Dearest.  I'm nodding."

She smiled back at him, the smile that meant she was up for some fun.  "Good, because there's a party going on and Fire Lord Sparky hasn't had nearly enough to drink.  We should help him."

"In a minute," he said, and took a deep breath.  His hand entered his pocket again, and this took out the thin piece of ribbon attached to a black stone.  "I was waiting for the opportune moment to ask you something and I really don't think there's going to be a better one than this."  Toph's smile flickered, and Sokka had to stifle and giggle.  He took one of her hands from his waist and placed the necklace in her palm.  "Will you marry me, Toph?"

No flowery introduction, no sappy declaration of love.  Just the clean precision of the most important question he'd ever asked in his life.

Toph fingered the necklace, tracing over the delicate ridges he had spent two months carving.  "I guess that all depends," she replied.

Sokka glared at her.  "Depends on what?"

It was Toph's turn to shrug.  "Depends on who's asking."

Sokka's brain finally caught up to the conversation.  "Well," he began, "Sokka the Warrior belongs to the Water Tribes.  Sokka the Swordmaster belongs to the Order of the White Lotus.  And I guess that Sokka the War Hero belongs to the world."  He wrapped his own arms around her tiny waist, now significantly bulkier from the heavy parka she wore.  "But Plain, Ordinary Sokka?  He belongs to you."

"Well, that's a relief," she said.  "Plain, Ordinary Sokka is the only one that stands a chance."  She held up the necklace to her neck and allowed Sokka to tie it under her hair.  Once finished she raised her self up on her toes.  "Because I belong to him."

He smiled and leaned down to her, eager for the first kiss from his fiancé.